Lost... in Review

Lost will have its traditional review clip show guy ahead of the two hour premiere (ON TUESDAY!!!). I thought I would do my own thing, as I frantically try to pick up ABC on my brand new digital converter box. So here's looking back at Lost (massive spoilers, if you haven't seen the series, in which case you are a moron).

4 Holy Crap Moments
1. In "Walkabout", we spend the episode wondering why John Locke is different - only to discover that before the crash he was paralyzed from the waiste down.
2. In "Exodus", the raft, carrying Michael, Walt, Jin, and Sawyer, is rescued by a bearded group of fishermen attacked by others, who menacingly promise "We're gonna have to take the boy," which they promptly do, after shooting Sawyer and blowing up the Raft (henceforth no longer christened as "Lucky" the Raft).
3. Michael returns from screaming "WWWAAALLLTTT!!!" in "Two For The Road," and promises to shoot Henry Gale, a captured other. Michael takes the gun and instead shoots Ana Lucia (Yay!), Libby (No!!!), and then himself (um...).
4. "Through the Looking Glass" spends it's flashbacks focusing on the one character who we're sick of hearing about - Jack Shepherd, obsessive doctor. We learn about a time in Jack's past where he is abusing drugs, abusing beards, and contemplating suicide, and then Kate drives up, and we realize that this is the freaking future, and my brain explodes.

8 Spine Tinglingly Good Acting Jobs
1. Sawyer realizes that Locke has locked (ha) him in with Anthony Cooper who, besides being Locke's daddy, is the real Sawyer, who is responsible for James Ford having a reason to write a letter entitled "Dear Mr Sawyer..."
2. Henry Gale messes with Locke and Jack throughout his entire time in the hatch. In particular, when he tells them what he would do if he was actually an other, as opposed to just being suspected of being an other, in "The Whole Truth."
3. One of my favorite moments is when the Raft 1.0 gets set on fire in "... In Translation." Besides being a great plot point, the sheer anguish on Michaels face and in his voice is astounding.
4. Desmond in "The Constant" is nothing short of spectacular, trying to contact Penny, and the look on his face when he does...
5. Charlie in "Greatest Hits" confronts his destiny, and chooses to embrace it for the sake of LURV.
6. Hurley in "The Beginning of the End" as the force that ultimately split the camp in two (only took three full seasons!)
7/8. Locke and Eko, two of the most awesome characters, meet with a simple 'Hello,' in "Collision."

15 of my Favorite episodes, in no particular order:
Walkabout
Exodus
Through The Looking Glass
The Constant
The Incident
The Man From Tallahasse
The Brig
The Hunting Party
All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues
Deus Ex Machina
Because You Left
The Shape Of Things To Come
Lockedown
Live Together, Die Alone
Enter 77

16 nights of Lost left

23 word long sentence describing Lost:
The best television show ever- five, and soon to be six, seasons of a perfect balancing act between character drama and action-filled suspense.

42 dollars I spent on an antenna and digital converter box just to watch Lost, which, in order to pick up ABC, means I need to rearrange my bedroom

Superbowl Pick

Gotta hurry up and get my pick out before Dave usurps me.

Thoughts on last week:

I came pretty close with the scores, didn't I?
Predicted Colts 31, Jets 10
Actual? Colts 30, Jets 17

Predicted Saints 35, Vikings 27
Actual? Saints 31, Vikings 28

For a total offage in points of 13. Not bad.

So next week its the Saints and the Colts. What a dream matchup.

Here are my thoughts:

Colts haven't played a high octane offense in quite awhile. Meanwhile, the Saints have played two hall of fame quarterbacks in a row.

Colts have precision on their side; New Orleans has luck. And you can't beat luck.

Can you imagine the outrage if the Colts did win, and didn't get the 19-0? We'd never not hear about it... But also, can you imagine the looting if New Orleans were to lose?

New Orleans 38, Indianapolis 35, and the best Super Bowl we've seen in several years.

NFL Conference Picks

3-1 last week, to move to 3-5 overall. Can I pull it out and take a winning record?

No rules for conference round. Mainly because my rules have done much of nothing (other than Dallas being way overhyped!). Also, my rules would lead to me picking the JETS JETS JETS, and I refuse to believe that Mark Sanchez could lead a team to the Superbowl.

So first picks - NY JETS at Indianapolis Colts...

Karma game? Nope. This is the game that will piss off Colts fans forever - because Peyton and the first string will demolish the Jets, and lead to endless soul searching about the loss of 19-0.

Colts 31, Jets 10.


Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints

This is a Karmic revenge game. Brett Favre running up the score late in a game against America's team? America's New Team is going to break him. Minnesota seemed to use last week to prove themselves - New Orleans used their time to shake off some rust. Now it's New Orleans turn to prove themselves. Should be a thrilling game, and will lead to six more months of Brett Favre Retirement Mania.

New Orleans 35, Minnesota 27

NFL Divisional Round Picks

Before the picks, some further thoughts from yesterday:
1. When typing out the possible quarterback matchups, I mistakenly inserted Carson Palmer and didn't have Brett Favre, in my first draft. Simply because I still can't wrap my head around a) Green Bay losing, yet Brett Favre plays on and b) Mark Sanchez won a playoff game.
2. My original picks were made on January 4. Dave's picks and Bill Simmon's picks were made on January 8th. We all picked the same four teams. We are all 0-4. I just wanted to vindicate myself - I made my own crappy picks, and didn't follow anyone else. (Why do I need to vindicate 0-4?)
3. Destiny... overlooked? To end the season, the Jets beat the Indianapolis and Cincinatti Bengals in weeks 16 and 17, respectively. Last weekend, they beat the Bengals first team... This weekend? They play Indianapolis. Do you think if Indianapolis loses this weekend they want to rewind and leave Manning in for 4 quarters against NY?

Okay. On to picks. Here are my divisional round rules, with how I think they might react this round.
1. At least one bye team is upset.
I could see this going anywhere. That's exciting. The definition of upset seems to point towards Baltimore or New York; Arizona and Dallas aren't radical underdogs. Also, I really want to just pick all the home teams this year, because I can see all of them being better than any of the other teams.

2. There's one team that everyone didn't pick first round, and everyone radically overreacts and takes the second round.
This award goes to... New York! or Dallas! Or both!

3. There's one team (or in the case of this season, one player) that hates me, personally.
In 2007, I had my best year picking playoff games. I went 7-4. All four of my incorrect picks were against the NY Giants, the eventual Super Bowl Champions. Last year, I went 6-5, and three of those incorrect picks were against Arizona. So who's doing it this year? Well, that goes back to Fantasy Football - and the answer is Joe Flacco. I don't know if it's because I lived with a rabid ravens fan a year or two ago and watched entirely too much of Senor Brow, but this year... He hated me! Every game I benched him in Fantasy he would through 8 touchdowns and a thousand yards, and when I started him he would have a negative passer rating. Then in the first round, the Ravens upset the Pats and I'm 0-4. He hates me.

Arizona at New Orleans - This game doesn't seem to me to invoke any of my rules, so I'll take the safe bet and say New Orleans wins; Arizona is gassed from a long and fast game with Green Bay. New Orleans by 7.

Dallas at Minnesota - Dallas is the radical overreaction. So Minnesota wins by 14; because they won't roll over and die like Donovan McNabb.

New York at Indianapolis - New York has some ooomph to them now. Indy is going to start flat. But can you really say that MARK FREAKING SANCHEZ will beat Peyton Manning in the playoffs? This is my hardest prediction, and I hate it - but I'm going to say yes. Manning only has one superbowl ring, and before he had that, he was known (not nicely) as a playoff choke. Jets by 10, and Manning throws more picks than TD's.

Baltimore at San Diego - No matter what I do here, Flacco will kill me. If I pick San Diego, Flacco will throw for 6 TD's and then run for four more; all the while kicking bombasticly placed punts. (Bombastic is a word I vow to use more often). If I pick Baltimore, Flacco throws 5 interceptions. I'm screwed. Jamison right now is jumping up and down, screaming for me to take San Diego. Eh, San Diego by 12.



EDIT

Oops. Baltimore is playing Indy, and San Diego gets the Jets. I thought the Jets were the 6 seed? Eh. I'll take San Diego over the Jets, and Colts over Baltimore. Forget the upset!

OUCH, my spleen!

Worst weekend picking NFL Games ? Ever?

Maybe.

I went 0-4. That's right. A big old goose egg.

Let's review the rules:

Momentum Matters - Okay. So the Jets win, and the Cowboys, arguably the momentum teams. But the Packers lose, who had way more momentum than anyone else on the first round. Pats/Ravens is a wash in this category.

One team is overhyped, one is underhyped. Perhaps the Packers were the overhyped team, and the Ravens underhyped?

When in doubt, take the home team. But always pick one road team. 2 road teams won this weekend - Jets and Ravens. Have no idea what to say here.

Destiny exists in the NFL - No Packs/Vikes III. No Pats/Colts II (as Bill Simmons called them: "Pats/Colts: Fourth and two... again! and Packers/Favre III: Apocalypse Now). So what does that leave for destiny? Old timer Bowl - Favre vs Warner? Battle of the No Rings - Brees vs Rivers? UnSuper Bowl - Romo vs Sanchez?

I don't know anymore. My head hurts.

More picks tomorrow.

Lost Preseason Picks

NFL playoffs start this week – but even more important, Lost Season 6 starts in less than a month. In the preseason tradition of all sorts of sports, I decided to do a Picks and Over/Under column for Lost Season 6. If you have anything else you want my opinion on Lost wise, let me know!

Preseason Picks
1. Locke Resurrection vs Charlie Resurrection
Two well beloved characters who are currently dead, but have been seen since then. I bet Locke gets really resurrected, but we see Ghost Charlie.

2. LAX 2004 vs Island 2007
Did the bomb send the Losties to 2007 or reset them to 2004? I think it would be a great way to mess with us if we thought it reset them to 2004… but then actually sent them to 2007 or something.

3. Sawyer Living vs Sawyer Dying
Depends on pick #8. I’m going with the tragedy here – Sawyer dies.

4. Bad Guy Named Esau vs Bad Guy Named Anything Else
Esau was the brother of Jacob in the Bible. In the fifth season finale, we finally meet Jacob – as well as his apparent rival. While Esau would thus make sense… I’m going to go with something else.

5. Jacob Wins Out vs Esau Wins Out
Ultimate fate of the series – Good or Evil. I think Esau wins out – and turns out to be the good guy (the ultimate boo ya!)

6. Skate vs Jate
Skate stands for Sawyer / Kate and Jate stands for Jack / Kate (at least according to some Internet forums). I don’t think Sawyer could turn back to Kate after watching Juliet die, so Jate wins this.

7. Ben Dies Vs Richard Dies
Both admitted long shots, but I’m concerned that perhaps one of my favorite characters would get killed off. I honestly can’t decide which seems more likely… Richard Dies, I guess.

8. Sayid Lives Vs Juliet Lives
Both these characters ended up season 5 in mortal peril, in 1977. I think (based on the look anyway) that Juliets injuries seemed less likely to be fatal. But then that would waste some great acting by Josh Holloway watching Juliet get ripped down the hole. Sayid Lives, paving the way for Juliet and Sawyers death.

9. “They’re Coming…” = The Ajira Folk! Vs “They’re Coming” = 1977 Losties!
Who was Jacob referring to with his last words? I’m going with our 1977’ers, who will pop back to 2007 to kick some Esau Smoke Monster butt.

10. Smoke Monster is Esau Vs Smoke Monster works for Esau
I think Smoke Monster is Esau. The events of “Dead is Dead” seem to lead me to that direction.

11. Adam and Eve are Rose and Bernard Vs Adam and Eve are Jack and Kate
I think the bomb screwed up Rose and Bernard’s chance to be Adam and Eve. Gotta go with Jack and Kate, and the irony of Kate whining in season 1 that she didn’t want to be Eve.


Over Unders:
3 Major Cast Members Die – I take the over – Sawyer and Juliet, Richard or Ben, and someone else, random.

6 Ajira Deaths – How many random extras from Ajira 316 will die? I take the under – a few, but not half a dozen.

1.5 Mentions of Jack’s Tattoos: Based on our previous seasons, I’ll take the over. I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if the Bomb screws up Jack’s tattoos, and then we have to watch 6 flashbacks of why they’re different than they were.

8 Episodes until we finally learn about Libby: I actually take the over; don’t think it will actually happen. With so many balls in the air, the writers are bound to drop one or two.

4 Times that Kate changes her mind about who she should be with: I’ll take the under, I guess. Don’t think Sawyer will be an option (but dangit, that means that Kate will want him). Change my mind. I’ll take the over. No I won’t. Take the under. (See why I hate Kate?)

8 Lives that Kate Destroys: Way low. Take the over.

5 Previews That Will Entirely Mislead About the Upcoming Episode: To be fair, this problem is much less than in the past, where people would edit the promo horrendously – see the promo for episode 1.16 where it looks like Sawyer is going to shoot Jack – and all he does is point a gun at a boar (albeit menacingly).

5 times that Dave Morgan calls me before I can see the episode on the West Coast: I figure 2 times he will forget about the time change and nearly ruin the episode for me; 3 times he will do that in a joking manner, and twice he will do it to make sure I get this pick wrong, so I guess I’ll take the under. Either way, I can’t win this pick.

Wildcard Picks

Ah... Tis the Season. Time to Make some NFL Playoff picks. Here are a few of my pick rules:

1. Momentum Matters.
2. One team is overhyped, one team is underhyped.
3. When in doubt, take the home team. But pick at least one road team.

And I'm adding a rule for this year only - 4. Destiny exists, which is going to effect my NFC picks (and overrule other rules).

AFC:
Jets at Bengals - Rough call. Rules 1 and 3 are at odds here - or are they? Jets have momentum; but they have momentum against the Indianapolis farm team, and... the Bengals(!) who probably weren't playing last week. I'm going to stick with the home team - Bengals by 10.

Ravens at Patriots - None of these games are going to be easy to pick, huh. This is a tough picks because I love the Ravens in postseason play - but I haven't given up Tom Brady as "most likely to win a game singlehandedly against all odds" either. Here's how I see this game going - in the cold, these two teams punch each other in the mouth, but Tom Brady and Randy Moss win it in the end. Pats by 4.

NFC:
Here's the takeaway for Rule #4: Green Bay beats Minnesota in the playoffs. That's all for Rule #4. I'm tempted to say that GB wins the Super Bowl, but I'm not sure Destiny doesn't believe in New Orleans (or San Diego). So here's how I see Destiny working in the NFC:

Eagles at Cowboys - Eagles win. The Eagles always seem to just have another drive over other teams, and the Cowboys always do something to screw up. Eagles by 7. This fulfills my 1 road team wins quota, and sets up Destiny because...

Packers at Arizona - because the Packers win at Arizona in a shootout. Defense? We don't need no stinking defense! Packers by 6 and earn a trip to Minnesota. No reason other than #4.

This means the second round would consist of Eagles at New Orleans (great game), Green Bay at Minnesota (ESPN might explode), Bengals at Colts (meh... Colts by a lot, no one cares), and Patriots at Chargers (another great game). So I predict in the NFC Title game - Green Bay at New Orleans, and for the AFC Title - Chargers at Colts.

Superbowl - Chargers at New Orleans in Miami. This may be the most fun Super Bowl ever - two electric teams. Going off of Destiny.... New Orleans as the Superbowl Champions.



P.S.
1. I know I picked more than one road team to win. Destiny overrules the other rules.
2. Underhyped team is Bengals (maybe Arizona). Overhyped is Cowboys (or possibly San Diego).