The PostScript: Finding Meaning in Pain

Why has God continued to exist long after people have written him off as dead?

Nietzche first wrote God as dead in 1882. Time Magazine wrote off God in 1966. And yet, God continues to be real in many peoples lives. There are of course as many reasons for the life of God as there are people who believe in Him, but I want to focus on one today.

God still exists because we still hurt. There is still pain in our lives. And God can provide meaning to that.

Have you ever house-trained a dog? You're supposed to grab the dog, rub it's face in the mess, and swat it. Over time, the dog learns not to leave messes in the house.

What happens if you don't swat the dog when it messes, but instead swat it randomly? The dog develops neurosis and never learns.

So for humans... Having (a) God helps us put meaning behind the 'swats' in life. Otherwise, we end up like the Dread Pirate Roberts, who said - "Life is pain! Anyone who says differently is selling something."

Thus, until someone can take away all pain and longing in the world (hint: won't happen), God will continue to remain alive and very healthy.

NFL: Week 4 Picks

Quick thoughts for Week 4:

49ers at Falcons: Classic letdown game for Atlanta, and sheer desperation game for San Francisco. Take the 49ers. That's my Upset of the Week.

Jets at Bills: Uh, Jets. Bills looked frisky against the Patriots, but the Jets may actually have a defense.

Bengals at Browns: Really good defense (Cincinnati) meets really inept offense (Cleveland). Bengals.

Lions at Packers: Jeez, when it rains it pours in Detroit. If Green Bay wins last week against Chicago, the Lions maybe have a chance to spoil in this game. But as it is, I expect Green Bay to play their best game of the year and smoke em. I'm talking 40 or 50 points put up on the hapless Detroit secondary. Green Bay is the Lock of the Week.

Broncos at Titans: Home team, Chris Johnson, yada yada yada. And I just realized that my two fantasy quarterbacks are playing Tennesee (7th ranked defense, 178.3 passing yards per game) or Pittsburgh (6th ranked defense, 219 passing yards per game). That's not great. So I'm thinking Titans win this one.

Seahawks at Rams: I have no idea. My soul withers at the thought of Pete Carroll starting off 3-1, but I can't talk myself into the Rams winning two weeks in a row. Here's my new rule: don't let my hatred cloud my judgement. I'll take the Seahawks.

Panthers at Saints: Big bounce back game for the Saints.

Ravens at Steelers: At home? I'd normally take Pittsburgh. However... I think there's a little bit of Pittsburgh that will take this game easy so as to not make it too much of a controversy when Big Ben Ruthlessraper comes back. So I'll take the Ravens.

Texans at Raiders: Um, Texans. I think.

Colts at Jaguars: Colts.

Redskins at Eagles: Home turf... But I predict a last minute drive by McNabb that falls short, leading to the Eagles victory.

Cardinals at Chargers: Home turf, coming off a bad loss, Chargers all the way.

Bears at Giants: Let down game for the bears, and bounce back game for the Giants. Take the Giants...

Patriots at Dolphins: I don't know. I would guess Bill Belicheck will clamp down and the Patriots will win a defensive slugfest, 13-7 or something.

X-Factor: Bounceback games. Will the Chargers, Saints, and Packers reverse fortunes? They all came off close losses last week and I picked them all to win this week.

NFL: Week 3 Review

Good week. I came pretty close to being 11-5.

The picks (mine in italics, actual winners in bold):

49ers at Chiefs

Lions at Vikings

Bills at Patriots

Falcons at Saints

Titans at Giants

Steelers at Buccaneers

Bengals at Panthers

Browns at Ravens

Cowboys at Texans

Redskins at Rams

Eagles at Jaguars

Colts at Broncos

Raiders at Cardinals

Chargers at Seahawks

Jets at Dolphins

Packers at Bears

What Could Have Been: Imagine if I had gone with my heart and taken St Louis. And then if Garrett Hartley doesn't miss a kick. I would be 11-5!

Michael Vick: Pretty much punched me twice in the face this week. First off, he played real good, which meant that my Jaguars picks turned out real bad. Then I logged into NFL.com and found out I was playing against him in Fantasy Football...

Imagine: Only three undefeated teams remain. Pittsburgh, Chicago and freaking Kansas City.

Week: 9-7

Overall: 27-21

Upset of the week: 1-2

Lock of the week: 1-2

The Struggle for Intimacy

We had a conversation in Sabbath Group two weeks ago. It was about where the Sabbath group was going to go; how we were going to change and how we weren’t the same anymore. There is a struggle for intimacy that we have now; the group has grown and changed. It’s harder to share because there are people in Sabbath group who you don’t know; who are for all intents strangers. And I think that struggle for intimacy happens in more than just our Sabbath group.

I think intimacy is being open and authentic and real - letting people know who you are and what you think. And that’s scary; so it leads to the thought that intimacy only happens by going smaller. It’s impossible to be intimate in a conference setting; very difficult in a church setting; hard in a small group setting, and something you have to work at in a marriage.

It’s not hard to see why Intimacy is a constant tension. Intimacy is something that we, as a broken people, desire. Attempts to replace or bolster intimacy rule our everyday lives. So when we see something that is a clear example of intimacy, we want it. So we jump in, and lose some of the intimacy in the process.

How do we respond? I would suggest there are two ways:

1. Make Intimacy a moving target. This seems to the current way of life in America – everyone jumps in on something new, and then it’s not the same, so everyone abandons it in favor of the next “new.” Think about social networks – what is Facebook if not an attempt at knowing the people around us and being known? But now, it’s too big and too corporate. You don’t dare put real personal information on Facebook – anyone anywhere can read it. And so Facebook undergoes a backlash, and new social networking springs up. Twitter, Foursquare, Chatroulette all attempt to take some of that “intimacy space.”

The mental image I have is of frogs and lily pads. One frog jumps to a new lily pad, and it supports his weight just fine. But all the rest of the frogs join him shortly thereafter; and the lily pad sinks underneath the weight. We are the frogs, searching for a lily pad to support us. And as soon as this lily pad can no longer support us, we swim to the next one. (I have no idea if frogs actually do that).

So in this scenario, we’ll never truly be satisfied. It’s a constant search and struggle, and whenever we think we “find it” we have to start looking again. But it’s safe.

2. We could risk. Risk being intimate with the people we don’t know. Risk that it’s okay to share. Know that sometimes, someone is going to punch us in the face for being there. Someone is going to take advantage of us. It’s not going to feel worth it. We’re going to get more beat up than Michael Emerson did on Lost (pop culture reference quota: filled).

But at the same time, the reward is so much more significant. Because we can invite people into intimacy and change lives. That’s why marriages are considered life changing events by HR departments – because it’s a degree of intimacy unmatched by anything else in your life. I literally cannot imagine going back to being single anymore, and neither can any of my married friends (that I’ve talked to). A marriage is, by definition, intimate.

So now imagine if we could be intimate on some of those other levels. I’ve seen lives changed by a dose of intimacy in small group settings. What if we could be intimate in church settings? In work settings? In huge group settings?

This can only happen if we initiate and start letting ourselves be known. Only by taking the first step can we invite other into that process.

Postscript:

I think the biggest factor, of course, in any of this, is God. None of us want to end up bruised and bloodied on the altar of intimacy. But the sad truth is that if we try, the world will take advantage of us. Revealing yourself is dangerous – emotionally and physically. I don’t want to advocate anyone do anything unsafe; I think we should act responsibly. I read just the other day about a family that was robbed blind because they revealed their address in a for sale ad on Craigslist. There are bad people in the world who will take advantage of you.

And it’s only by the grace of God that this is a worthwhile endeavor. It’s not that God will protect you from being hurt; it’s just that God can give your pain meaning and purpose. I’ll write more on this later.

NFL: Week 3 Picks

Rough week last week. And this week promises to be rough as well; still don't really know where any of these teams rate. Let's just jump in.

49ers at Chiefs: Have never bought into the San Francisco hype. However... I don't buy into the Chiefs hype either. Gotta stick with the home team though.

Lions at Vikings: This is the story of Lions fan. Every single game we play, I convince myself that we could win. Right now, I'm wondering if Favre is finally washed up. I'm wondering if the last two close games haven't been flukes. I'm wondering if Kyle Vandenbosch will continue to lead in tackles. I'm wondering if Suh will get into Favre's head. I'm wondering if Jahvid Best will make mincemeat of the Minnesota defense. And so, once again, I have talked myself into taking Detroit. Do I even have to say this is my upset of the week?

Bills at Patriots: Patriots by a mile - perhaps literally? Could the Patriots score a mile's worth of yards against the Bills ? Probably not, but I'll still take the Patriots.

Falcons at Saints: The Saints are the Colts of the NFC, except they have a soul. I wouldn't advise picking against them, so I'll take New Orleans (home turf!).

Titans at Giants: Two teams that looked real good week 1 playing crappy teams and real bad week 2 playing good teams. We did just watch Indianapolis (!) run all over NY, so I'm guessing Chris Johnson will break 200 yards, and thus will take the Titans.

Steelers at Buccaneers: Sorry Bucs. Time for those hopes to start circling the drain.

Bengals at Panthers: Panthers are really just awful, huh? I'll take the Bengals; we should see some fireworks from Ochocinco and Owens this week. X-Factor: Is Jimmy Clausen the next coming... or is he a rookie quarterback playing on an awful team?

Browns at Ravens: Flacco rebound! He better, or I might renounce Fantasy Football forever. On the other hand, if the Browns lose, they pretty much sink my dark horse pick. Which, at this point, I'm okay with abandoning. Ravens for the easy win.

Cowboys at Texans: Texans are bound to lose, right? Two emotional games in a row, while the cowboys are desperate? I'll take Dallas in my lock of the week.

Redskins at Rams: Rams are bound to win one eventually, right?And Washington is bound to have a sluggish game after their heartbreaking loss to Houston. My heart wants to give it to St Louis... But my head isn't dumb. I'll pick Washington.

Eagles at Jaguars: Are the Eagles a bad team masquerading as a good team? Are the Jaguars a good team masquerading as a bad team? Could Michael Vick do anything more to provoke Dave Morgan? How many hypothetical questions can I ask before making a pick? Can I just refuse to make a pick? Fine, I'll take the Jaguars. Anything that stirs the pot in Philly. (Also, Bird Bowl Pick!)

Colts at Broncos: Easy money on the Colts. Denver isn't a good team, but they can sometimes beat mediocre teams. Not the Colts. (Bird Bowl Note: Bird Bowl Picking marks this as a tie: Colts and Broncos are both horses, and I don't really care enough to look up the difference between the two.)

Raiders at Cardinals: Two crappy teams, right? Can you back a crappy team on the road? Probably not. Take the Cardinals.

Chargers at Seahawks: Don't believe in the Seahawks. Chargers should win.

Jets at Dolphins: Ugh. Jets without Revis, huh? He didn't make much of an impact against the Patriots. But... Edwards being a moron hurts too. Gotta take the Dolphins; they're less distracted.

Packers at Bears: Packers... Duh!

NFL: Week 2 Review

What an ugly weekend of football. Every game I watched was just ugly. Brett Favre throws 12 interceptions at the 1 yard line? Joe Flacco throws 4 interceptions in a game that scored a bakers dozen of field goals? MARK FREAKING SANCHEZ winning? (I hate Mark Sanchez.)

Ugly. And So here's my picks review. As always, my picks in italics, with actual winners bolded.

Ravens at Bengals

Cowboys at Bears

Cardinals at Falcons

Bills at Packers

Eagles at Lions

Steelers at Titans

Chiefs at Browns

Bucs at Panthers

Dolphins at Vikings

Seahawks at Broncos

Rams at Raiders

Patriots at Jets

Texans at Redskins

Jaguars at Chargers

Giants at Colts

Saints at 49ers

Week: 8-8.

Record: 18-14

Upset of the Week: 1-1

Lock of the Week: 0-2

Lock of the Week: Might be better off picking against my "Mortal Lock of the Week." Although, to be fair, I haven't been picking the 'easy' teams like Green Bay or the Saints. I've picked San Diego and Carolina. Next week I'll play it safe (I'll take Minnesota!)

Bird Bowl: I tossed about the idea of picking the most ferocious animal last week. Here's how Bird Bowl (trademark pending!) picking would have worked out: 3-1. (Eagles-Lions being the loss.) I (only nominally following Bird Bowl Picking) went 3-1 anyway (missing the Ravens/Bengals). Perhaps a modified Bird Bowl picking system would work well - pick the most ferocious animal, unless that animal is a lion.

Fantasy Football: Lost by 9 points. I was doing well until Frank Gore scored 28 points. Thank God I benched Flacco and played Orton - that looked damn near prescient.

A Curse on You: Dave Morgan. Why did I ever get suckered into that trade (Flacco, Deangelo Williams, and Felix Jones for Rodgers and Beanie Wells)? The only player out of those 5 thats played well is Rodgers. A pox on you and your family! But on the flip side, I'm 18-14 (picking games outright) and you're 17-15 (picking against the spread). So I'm 3% better at picking through the first two weeks. Take that.

NFL: Week 2 Picks

Figured I should start by pointing this out - I don't think there's a single week of the year harder to make picks than week 2. Every team is either unbeaten or winless. And how much can you learn from one week? How many games last week were aberrations and how many were actual proof of what's coming this season?

For example, what do you do with Houston at Washington? Is one of these teams "for real?" Who was faking it last week?

Anyway, onto the picks.

Ravens at Bengals: Ravens are better than their game score last week suggested, and I think the Bengals may be shockingly worse. Take the Ravens.

Cowboys at Bears: As much as I like watching Dallas lose, I have a feeling that the Bears won't put up much of a fight. Dallas.

Cardinals at Falcons: A bird bowl! Was there one last week? (After checking, no!). I'm tempted to start instituting a "if two animals meet, pick the fiercer one." Last week, I would have had 2 wins (dolphins drown buffalo and jaguars eat horses), one loss (would have picked Rams over Cardinals), and one push - lions and bears (who knows who wins that fight?). So in that spirit, I'll take the Falcons this week.

Bills at Packers: About the best thing the Bills can hope to do this week is to run Lynch a lot and drive up his trade value to the Packers. Pack rolls.

Eagles at Lions: Dangit, another animal bowl. By the rules I already postulated, I should pick the Lions. I'm reserving my Upset of the Week for a different game... So, sadly, I'll take the Eagles. X-Factor: How demoralized will Detroit be after week 1? Can you dream of a scenario where week 1 was any worse for Detroit, barring Suh spontaneously combusting and taking Calvin Johnson with him? (Of course, maybe they use that to their advantage? Wait, these aren't the Patriots. They're the Lions...)

Steelers at Titans: Homefield advantage. Titans, and CJ racks up 150 yards.

Chiefs at Browns: Is Cleveland really that bad? I'm starting to think that God really does hate them. Oh well... But I can't drop my playoff dark horse just yet. Low scoring game and Cleveland wins.

Bucs at Panthers: Bucs on the road? Panthers - and boy am I glad to have Deangelo Williams this week. I'll take the Panthers as my Lock of the Week - when else can I type that this year?

Dolphins at Vikings: Favre didn't look good last week. But neither did Miami. When in doubt, take the home team. I'm sure Favre worked with his receivers this week, and they will probably be more in sync.

Seahawks at Broncos: I hate this game all around. Because I don't think the Seahawks are for real, but I don't want to pick Denver. If Carroll starts off 2-0 though, I might have to gag myself here in Seattle. I'll pick Denver. (I'm also toying with the thought of playing Orton this week over Flacco...)

Rams at Raiders: I can't take St Louis on the road... not even at Oakland.

Patriots at Jets: Okay, so maybe Dallas is my second favorite team to watch lose. First is the Jets, who are about to get pounded by a strikingly 2007 Tom Brady into an 0-2 hole.

Texans at Redskins: Eh, I haven't picked a road team to win yet (Philly doesn't count). Texans are as good as any.

Jaguars at Chargers: Another one of those games that I have no clue going into. I think I'll take San Diego - they're offense should be more potent than last week, and that doesn't bode well for the Jags.

Giants at Colts: I'm gonna take a stand and play this as my Upset of the Week. The Giants are underrated. And eventually, the Colts aren't going to be on top anymore. Is this the year? Maybe. I'll take the Giants.

Saints at 49ers: Too bad 49ers. I already played my Upset of the Week. You're relegated to 0-2, because Drew Brees. I don't even need to make that a complete sentence. Just Drew Brees.

NFL: Week 1 Review

Review of Last week - my picks in italics, actual winner bolded.

Vikings at Saints

Dolphins at Bills

Lions at Bears

Raiders at Titans

Bengals at Patriots

Panthers at Giants

Falcons at Steelers

Browns at Buccaneers

Broncos at Jaguars

Colts at Texans

Cardinals at Rams

Packers at Eagles

49ers at Seahawks

Cowboys at Redskins

Ravens at Jets

Chargers at Chiefs

Pick record: 10-6

Upset of the Week: 1-0

Lock of the Week: 0-1

In my defense... If you had said a week ago that Indianapolis and San Francisco were going to lose their openers, you would have been laughed out of the room. Also, I should get a point for Detroit, who did win the game, but were screwed by the Refs.

I learned.... Don't pick actual game scores. My 30-35 guess for Min - NO was laughably bad.

X-Factor.... wasn't a factor. Brees had an alright game, and didn't come close to a devastating injury. Here's my question to you more learned football guys - what's the latest into the season that the Madden Curse has struck? At what point is Brees "safe?"

Tis better not to speak of... Fantasy football.... I lost by at least 25, when I last looked.

Random Thoughts: Invitations

A quick thought from Sabbath group last night…

I was reflecting with two of the guys about the difference between commands and invitations. Scott, who works for a sports club and frequently teaches afterschool programs, was talking about the noticeable difference in the behavior of his students when saying “Don’t do this” as opposed to “Hey, how about we do this?” The invitation seemed to work better. It’s anecdotal, of course, but you can probably also think of ways in which you see that played out in your own life.

We started reflecting on how our view of God through the years has changed in this regard as well. In the culture we grew up in, there seemed to be a message of “don’t” that was being told to us. People told us that God didn’t want us to drink, or smoke, or have sex, or swear. There wasn’t a message of “we invite you to do this” but rather a “if you do this, we will punish you.”As we’ve grown older, we’ve started to experience less of God telling us what not to do and more of God inviting us to grow with him.

This isn’t to say that there are certain decisions that are poor decisions. I think most of the reasons that the church communicated to us like that when we were younger were good reasons. They did have a good heart, but just poor execution. I think our challenge now is how to accept and forgive those mistakes, and move on, to create a world that is less about the don’t and more about an invitation to live together, in a beautiful mess.

Amish Proverbs: The Winner

So we had two entries for the Amish Proverbs contest. Here were the entries:

Derek: "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

Jason: "Proverbs are best understood after you have failed to heed their wisdom."

And so the winner (by random draw) is...

Derek! You can claim your prize anytime. Thanks to all for playing.

NFL: Week 1 Picks

This year, I'll be attempting to make picks for every game. I've picked the playoffs well every year (mostly), so here's my first shot at regular season. At the end of the column, you'll find a Mortal Lock pick - you can bet on that matchup. Also, the X-Factor or Upset of the Week that may throw a spanner in the works

Also, I have no memory. I don't remember what I wrote two weeks ago about the NFL; just that I thought Cleveland would surprise. If I contradict myself, that means I was right at least once, so there.

Vikings at Saints: Defending Champions, at home. This will be a monster game, and Drew Brees has supplanted Manning / Brady and Former Favre as the QB to never bet against. Down by 20 in the fourth quarter and I'd still take Brees. So for this game, Brees wins in a thriller, 35-30. X-Factor: When will the Madden curse hit?

Dolphins at Bills: Dolphins. Seeing as neither of these teams interest me, I have nothing further to say.

Lions at Bears: In the battle for first most irrelevant in the NFC North... I'll take the Lions in a surprise victory. And Cutler throws up a foul-mouthed immature media storm when he gets sacked by Suh four or five times.

Raiders at Titans: Both these teams should improve upon their last year. Hard to pick in the first week - but I'll take the Titans because of homefield advantage.

Bengals at Patriots: Both teams have glaring weaknesses. Patriots have duct tape for a defense, and the Bengals have more reality TV shows than my wife has shoes. Safe prediction: Tom Brady. Oh, and that homefield advantage again.

Panthers at Giants: Giants are under the radar again - like the year they won the Super Bowl. Panthers are perhaps slightly overrated - losing Jake Delhomme helps them, but losing Julius Peppers does not. Go with the Giants.

Falcons at Steelers: There's some hype about Matt Ryan, but not as much as other young quarterbacks. I think Dennis Dixon struggles in week 1, and Atlanta takes them to task for it.

Browns at Buccaneers: Easy lay up to start looking like Nostradamus. Browns have more talent than the Bucs, plain and simple. If Jake really does rebound like I expect, this could be a shellacking.

Broncos at Jaguars: Will anyone in Jacksonville care if the Jags lose but Tim Tebow scores a random touchdown? I think this is basically a home game if for Denver if Tebow goes out on the field once. So then I'll take Denver.

Colts at Texans: Can you bet against Manning in the regular season? I can't until the fourteenth week. I'll take Manning.

Cardinals at Rams: Bradford should have a decent game, but Cardinals will still win. You can't overcome a talent deficit with one QB (See: 2009 Detroit Lions).

Packers at Eagles: Rough game for Kevin Kolb to start. I'm rooting against Aaron Rodgers now, because I traded him, and don't want to look like an idiot, but I think the Pack will not struggle too much here.

49ers at Seahawks: San Francisco by a mile. Seahawks don't have a coach; they have Pete Carroll.

Cowboys at Redskins: It amuses me to no end when Dallas falters. So in my Upset of the Week, I'll take the Redskins.

Ravens at Jets: Joe Flacco just got Housmanzhasd (or however you spell it) to go with Boldin. Which is good, because the Jets just got Revis back. Still, I think Mark Sanchez is vastly overrated and will see some definite sophomore blues. Ravens in a close game.

Chargers at Chiefs: Mortal Lock of the Week: Chargers. You know why? Because Philip Rivers has the drive to win. When has Matt Cassel ever shown drive? And no, picking up Leinart or Brady's dry cleaning doesn't count.

Random Thoughts: Ironic Word Plays

Just yesterday I realized I don't know the difference between the words "drama" and "melodrama."

Is melodrama just a (dramatic?) version of drama? If so, is that ironic?

Alanis Morrissette wrote a song called "Ironic" which did not provide examples of Irony. Is that Ironic? And if it is, does that make the song correctly titled, which means it's not ironic? I'm confused.

I believe Alanis is from Canada. I'm not really researching this at this point, so let's just pretend she is, even if she isn't. In fact, let's just scrap this whole point, because (ironically) I have no idea why being Canadian mattered. (It's ironic because it isn't ironic).

Ironically, this entire post has no point. It sprang from a mental discussion of the difference between being melodramatic and dramatic. Random thoughts, indeed.