This post follows a deep conversation i had with a friend yesterday. She was desperately trying to figure out how much a person's family background should matter in a relationship. If they come from a screwed up family, and screwed-up-ness runs in the genes, is it bad to avoid a significant relationship with that person?
As someone who comes from a screwed-up family, I have some interesting thoughts on the issue. Some of that stuff does run in the family. However, I believe we all have the ability to overcome those issues.
And that was the advice I offered her. Whoever this guy is, he can't control how his family is. It would be supremely unfair to judge someone based on factors they can't control (in fact, isn't that the basis of racism and sexism?). But, if this guy is handling the matters in a way that will lead him to be replicate the problems of his family, then that's an issue.
A person can't control their family. You don't choose your parents, or your genes.
But you do choose how to react.
No comments:
Post a Comment