Godzilla Threshold

Some situations reach a point that any solution, no matter how devastating, is worth it. This is the Godzilla Threshold.

You reach a point where it becomes worth it to summon Godzilla, the "patron saint of collateral damage."

It's that point where nothing could be worse than not solving the problem, so any and all solutions are on the table.

I don't know why I find this so cool, but I do. It nurtures my inner geek.

What situations in your own life reached a Godzilla Threshold?

On Maturity

Interesting week. I'm prepared to chime in on a few different topics this week, but I figured I would start with a discussion on maturity.

To get the topic started, why don't you look at Donald Miller's post: I Know how Old You Are. If you're too lazy to click over, the main point that Donald seems to be making is that the vast majority of his criticisms come from young angry white male twenty year olds. And Don relates it to a discussion of maturity.

What made Don's post stick with me was something that happened to me last week - I received a verbal warning from my supervisor. I don't want to examine the content of the warning presently (perhaps later this week), but I do want to examine the possibilities I have for response.


The first response, the angry white twenty-year-old male response is:

"Well, that's unfair. Most of that is beyond my control. It's certainly not my fault; if other people took a second to listen to my side of it, then they would understand."

This would probably not be an unfounded response. I'm sure I could respond line-by-line from everything my supervisor said and justify and explain every single one of my actions that led to the warning. And I think, bottom line, this response comes from a place of fear; a moment where I (or whomever) is thinking only about protecting myself and my 'territory.'


So while that wouldn't be an unfounded response, it certainly wouldn't be a mature one. So let's look at the second response:

"You know what, you're right. I handled these situations poorly, and my response cost something, whether that's in relationships or reputation. I own that, and need to find ways to improve my ability to act and react appropriately."


Now, this post is not to set about and pat myself on the back for my response. I'm fairly confident that I responded in both immature and mature ways (and even if I didn't do so in the actual meeting, I did so in my head). This post is to help remind me to continue growing in that regard.

I look back at my life, and I see situations that have arisen where a response was called for. And there are far too many situations where the response I made was the immature and defensive response; one that wasn't made with growth in mind. I have made many responses in my life based on a fear of even looking bad; I have often entered into situations like the one I did this week with the sole thought of 'how do I come out of this intact? How do I not let this overthrow the status quo? How do I make it clear that this isn't my fault?'

What should I learn from this experience? What does this tell me about who I have been? What does this reveal about who I am? How does this impact who I want to be? These are much better questions to ask in this sort of situation.

In another way of looking at it, immaturity is about protecting my territory, and making sure I don't have to move. It's a turtle that just hides when ever any situation appears dangerous. A better, more mature response, is that of a whale - never staying in the same place, never settling, never retreating, never panicking.

I hope this makes sense and isn't just me rambling. Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Oh, and check back later this week for: NFL week 11 picks, further discussion of the warning, a discussion about being hip, and who knows what else.

Grace and Peace

Random Thoughts: Being Known

I think one of the scariest things in my life is being known.

It’s very difficult for me. I score a 3 on the enneagram test, which means that I tend to wear a face when I’m with people. I tend to wear whatever face is going to be most well received. This means that I make a very good salesman or performer.

This also means that it’s very hard for me to let down those masks. It’s hard for me to let people see who I really am and what really matters to me; I think in some ways this is a result of my parents. My experiences growing up taught me that if I communicated what did matter to me, then I would learn that it didn’t matter to the person I was communicating with.

So it scares me when people know me before I want them to. My wife does this all the time. It use to terrify me when we were dating – she would say something flippantly, and it would cut to through every façade and mask I had built.

And I took some of that thought process, how terrifying it can be to be known, and started to apply it to God. God had to risk everything that He had, in a sense, to love us. For an omnipotent being, the only possible loss is that of rejection by another being with will. And for an omniscient being, God must have known it would happen. But God still chose to risk and love us anyway.

For me, that means that I must choose to risk and love anyway. It’s easy enough when it comes to my wife (well, most days anyway). But it’s more difficult when it comes to the people who have hurt me in the past – friends, enemies, family. Perhaps especially family.

So that’s my challenge, to you, for today. Look at your life – who is it most risky to love? Who has the most potential to let you down? How will you love them anyway?

A Little Introspection

It's time to do a little self reflection.

I've found through the years that my understanding of myself changes. I don't know if it's growth, per se, or simply understanding who I am better, but many of the things I used to be and do are no longer true about me.

Four years ago, I was in college, at the top of the world, in some senses. I was a leader on campus, in multiple positions, with many friends. I was someone that people looked up to, someone that was funny, someone that could spiritually challenge you.

And then I moved to South Carolina and tried to take that persona with me, into a new world. And I sort of fell flat on my face. I made a lot of friends, but I also sort of came to realize I'm a jerk. And I'm a poor leader when I'm trying.

I came to realize that I generally succeeded in spite of myself. It was when I withdrew and backed off that I found myself at the forefront of the game, in a way.

I moved to Seattle and have basically said I was going to sit back for three years and support Jess. I wasn't going to take the charge; I wasn't going to start a church or lead a small group; I wasn't going to push or pull anyone.

And then I consistently get pushed into positions where I'm doing well, despite having backed off. My supervisor refuses to let my job just be a job - if I'm not growing or learning, then something's wrong. Jess doesn't let me just sit back and do nothing - she challenges me to strive for more, in our relationship, and in other relationships. And even God isn't letting me sit back, and is constantly throwing things for me to do and learn and stretch with.

And all this is teaching me some things about myself. Maybe I'm not the leader I always imagined; maybe I'm a different sort of leader. I don't think I should ever be the senior pastor for a church - I don't do well with power. Even the little bit of managing that I've been given at work is a struggle for me - because I let it become about me and what I want. I used to assume that once I was in a leadership/management position I would wow everyone with my skills - but I simply don't think thats true anymore.

This has been an interesting time of my life. And it only continues from here.

Random Thoughts - 7

This post follows a deep conversation i had with a friend yesterday. She was desperately trying to figure out how much a person's family background should matter in a relationship. If they come from a screwed up family, and screwed-up-ness runs in the genes, is it bad to avoid a significant relationship with that person?
As someone who comes from a screwed-up family, I have some interesting thoughts on the issue. Some of that stuff does run in the family. However, I believe we all have the ability to overcome those issues.
And that was the advice I offered her. Whoever this guy is, he can't control how his family is. It would be supremely unfair to judge someone based on factors they can't control (in fact, isn't that the basis of racism and sexism?). But, if this guy is handling the matters in a way that will lead him to be replicate the problems of his family, then that's an issue.
A person can't control their family. You don't choose your parents, or your genes.
But you do choose how to react.