NFL: Bias Rankings

Welcome to the Original First Ever Bias Rankings!

They're just like power rankings, but intentionally skewed to the teams that I am biased towards or against. So at the higher end you'll have teams that I hate and thus tend to root and pick against. Lower numbers more directly correspond to teams that I root for. I'll be eschewing the regular picks column this week and just make quick picks at the end...

The Hell in a Handbasket Division

32. Chicago Bears

31. New York Jets

30. Pittsburgh Steelers

29. New York Giants

I'm not saying that I wish that these guys would be sucked into a black hole, but I probably won't be too upset if they do. Chicago is a division rival who get full of themselves at the drop of a hat. Pittsburgh has carryover from Dave Morgan and from the Penguins. And while you never need reasons to hate New York teams, the combination of A) Rex Ryan and B) the 2007 Superbowl don't help.

The DNA Level C Division

28. Cincinnati Bengals

27. Oakland Raiders

26. Seattle Seahawks

DNA Level C was a band from college made up of obnoxious jerks from Cleveland. It's Cleveland spelled backwards (this is the sound of my eyes rolling). No one really liked them, but they certainly liked each other. These teams are comprised of thugs and are generally hard to cheer for. Seattle joins this list this year with the addition of Pete Carroll.

The Nicholas Cage Division

25. Miami Dolphins

24. Atlanta Falcons

23. Arizona Cardinals

I'm not sure why I don't like Nicholas Cage. Maybe it's JUST the WAY he talks; randomly EMPHASIZING WORDS like he's having a VERBAL meltdown. In the same way, I'm not sure why I don't like these teams. Well, I do know Arizona burned me in my playoff picks a couple of years ago (I went 1-3 against them). Atlanta talked me into drafting Michael Turner last year (didn't really work out). And Miami? They have ugly uniforms.

The Biff Tannen Division:

22. Dallas Cowboys

21. Minnesota Vikings

Comically unlikable. No matter what, it's a joy to watch these teams get punched in the face or end up buried in manure.. Key Points: Tony Romo botching a field goal hold (great moment); Favre ending the 2009 season with an interception.

Mildly Disliked sort of like the way I mildly Dislike 7UP

20. Indianapolis Colts

19. San Francisco 49ers

18. Kansas City Chiefs

17. Washington Redskins

These teams are teams that for whatever reason, I just enjoy watching lose. I can't explain it. I think it might be because the Chiefs, 49ers, and Redskins have been mostly irrelevant the last few years. The Colts edge between here and Biff Tannen status; but ultimately its pretty hard to dislike a team that seems to actually have some values. At least to dislike them too much...

The Angelina Jolie Division:

16. St Louis Rams

15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I used to like Angelina Jolie, but then I watched Mr and Mrs Smith with my dad and he... said things... that cannot be unheard. In the same way, I use to feel bad for these teams. As a Lions fan, I feel bad when teams end up below us in the standings. But now both these teams have 2 wins on the season - so they're relegated back to the trash heap.

"I Hear the Jury is still out on Science" Division

14. Jacksonville Jaguars

13. Houston Texans

12. Cleveland Browns

11. Buffalo Bills

Would anyone know if these teams were de-expanded? This year, maybe the Texans, but the jury is still out on them. In fact, whether NFL football is working in these teams is very much a tossup.

The Sawyer Division

10. Tennessee Titans

9. Baltimore Ravens

8. San Diego Chargers

7. New England Patriots

Sawyer was the jerk from Lost who everyone ended up loving by the end. These are all dirty arrogant teams, but dag nabbit, I can't help liking them.

The Michael Bay Division

6. Philadelphia Eagles

5. Denver Broncos

4. Green Bay Packers

Here's a secret: Michael Bay makes fun movies (shush! don't tell anyone). You could call this (and all of Bay's movies) the Guilty Pleasure Division - all of these teams I secretly enjoy watching and cheering for, but I'm not sure why. Philadelphia has that underdog feel; Denver is home of the retardably watchable Josh McDaniels (who at any moment may do something utterly boneheaded) and also the home of Kyle Orton, rejected-Chicago-Bear-currently-leading-in-passing-yardage. And Green Bay? Most everyone likes Green Bay; it's just not okay for me because they're a division rival.

The Couldn't Come Up With A Better Sounding Name than the New Orleans Division:

3. New Orleans Saints

I like Sean Payton... Any guy that would order an onside kick in the Super Bowl is alright with me. And how can you root against the city of New Orleans?

Teams I have to Root For

2. Carolina Panthers

1. Detroit Lions

I'm sort of from Carolina, so I like the Panthers. And I obviously enjoy the Lions. This used to work out for me, because it meant I had my crappy home team, but also a respectable team that I could root for. Now they're both crappy. Sigh.

Quick Picks:

Jaguars

Bengals

Falcons

Lions

Colts

Packers

Panthers

Ravens (lock)

Texans

Saints

Cowboys

Chargers

49ers

Vikings (upset)

Bonus College Pick: U of M over MSU.

NFL: Week 4 Review

Thrilling finishes all around! Unless you lived in a Seattle market, in which case you (I) got to watch, in succession, Seattle, Philadelphia, and Chicago all roll over. The three games I watched had an average of 12 points between the winners and losers.

The rest of the games? A 4 point differential if you throw out the Jets and Chargers games. (I'm writing this Monday Morning, so MNF hasn't been taken into account). God hates Seattle!

49ers at Falcons

Jets at Bills

Bengals at Browns

Lions at Packers

Broncos at Titans

Seahawks at Rams

Panthers at Saints

Ravens at Steelers

Texans at Raiders

Colts at Jaguars

Redskins at Eagles

Cardinals at Chargers

Bears at Giants

Patriots at Dolphins

Week: 8-6

Record: 35-27

Upset of the Week: 1-3

Lock of the Week: 2-2

Thrilling Finishes, Part One: Not that I'm bitter about missing good football, but the Ravens beat the Steelers in the last minute, helping me make my pick!

Thrilling Finishes, Part Two: The following teams lost in the final minute to help me lose my picks: Colts, Titans, and most heartbreakingly the 49ers (my upset of the week bid)

Not So Thrilling Finishes: The Saints, Packers, and Redskins sure made those last few minutes interesting, huh? Not that I got to watch.

Comebacks: I wrote to watch how Chargers, Saints, and Packers bounced back. They all won, and so did the Giants, Broncos, and the Browns. They all had pretty ugly week 3's (NO being the exception) and won in week 4.

The PostScript: Finding Meaning in Pain

Why has God continued to exist long after people have written him off as dead?

Nietzche first wrote God as dead in 1882. Time Magazine wrote off God in 1966. And yet, God continues to be real in many peoples lives. There are of course as many reasons for the life of God as there are people who believe in Him, but I want to focus on one today.

God still exists because we still hurt. There is still pain in our lives. And God can provide meaning to that.

Have you ever house-trained a dog? You're supposed to grab the dog, rub it's face in the mess, and swat it. Over time, the dog learns not to leave messes in the house.

What happens if you don't swat the dog when it messes, but instead swat it randomly? The dog develops neurosis and never learns.

So for humans... Having (a) God helps us put meaning behind the 'swats' in life. Otherwise, we end up like the Dread Pirate Roberts, who said - "Life is pain! Anyone who says differently is selling something."

Thus, until someone can take away all pain and longing in the world (hint: won't happen), God will continue to remain alive and very healthy.

NFL: Week 4 Picks

Quick thoughts for Week 4:

49ers at Falcons: Classic letdown game for Atlanta, and sheer desperation game for San Francisco. Take the 49ers. That's my Upset of the Week.

Jets at Bills: Uh, Jets. Bills looked frisky against the Patriots, but the Jets may actually have a defense.

Bengals at Browns: Really good defense (Cincinnati) meets really inept offense (Cleveland). Bengals.

Lions at Packers: Jeez, when it rains it pours in Detroit. If Green Bay wins last week against Chicago, the Lions maybe have a chance to spoil in this game. But as it is, I expect Green Bay to play their best game of the year and smoke em. I'm talking 40 or 50 points put up on the hapless Detroit secondary. Green Bay is the Lock of the Week.

Broncos at Titans: Home team, Chris Johnson, yada yada yada. And I just realized that my two fantasy quarterbacks are playing Tennesee (7th ranked defense, 178.3 passing yards per game) or Pittsburgh (6th ranked defense, 219 passing yards per game). That's not great. So I'm thinking Titans win this one.

Seahawks at Rams: I have no idea. My soul withers at the thought of Pete Carroll starting off 3-1, but I can't talk myself into the Rams winning two weeks in a row. Here's my new rule: don't let my hatred cloud my judgement. I'll take the Seahawks.

Panthers at Saints: Big bounce back game for the Saints.

Ravens at Steelers: At home? I'd normally take Pittsburgh. However... I think there's a little bit of Pittsburgh that will take this game easy so as to not make it too much of a controversy when Big Ben Ruthlessraper comes back. So I'll take the Ravens.

Texans at Raiders: Um, Texans. I think.

Colts at Jaguars: Colts.

Redskins at Eagles: Home turf... But I predict a last minute drive by McNabb that falls short, leading to the Eagles victory.

Cardinals at Chargers: Home turf, coming off a bad loss, Chargers all the way.

Bears at Giants: Let down game for the bears, and bounce back game for the Giants. Take the Giants...

Patriots at Dolphins: I don't know. I would guess Bill Belicheck will clamp down and the Patriots will win a defensive slugfest, 13-7 or something.

X-Factor: Bounceback games. Will the Chargers, Saints, and Packers reverse fortunes? They all came off close losses last week and I picked them all to win this week.

NFL: Week 3 Review

Good week. I came pretty close to being 11-5.

The picks (mine in italics, actual winners in bold):

49ers at Chiefs

Lions at Vikings

Bills at Patriots

Falcons at Saints

Titans at Giants

Steelers at Buccaneers

Bengals at Panthers

Browns at Ravens

Cowboys at Texans

Redskins at Rams

Eagles at Jaguars

Colts at Broncos

Raiders at Cardinals

Chargers at Seahawks

Jets at Dolphins

Packers at Bears

What Could Have Been: Imagine if I had gone with my heart and taken St Louis. And then if Garrett Hartley doesn't miss a kick. I would be 11-5!

Michael Vick: Pretty much punched me twice in the face this week. First off, he played real good, which meant that my Jaguars picks turned out real bad. Then I logged into NFL.com and found out I was playing against him in Fantasy Football...

Imagine: Only three undefeated teams remain. Pittsburgh, Chicago and freaking Kansas City.

Week: 9-7

Overall: 27-21

Upset of the week: 1-2

Lock of the week: 1-2

The Struggle for Intimacy

We had a conversation in Sabbath Group two weeks ago. It was about where the Sabbath group was going to go; how we were going to change and how we weren’t the same anymore. There is a struggle for intimacy that we have now; the group has grown and changed. It’s harder to share because there are people in Sabbath group who you don’t know; who are for all intents strangers. And I think that struggle for intimacy happens in more than just our Sabbath group.

I think intimacy is being open and authentic and real - letting people know who you are and what you think. And that’s scary; so it leads to the thought that intimacy only happens by going smaller. It’s impossible to be intimate in a conference setting; very difficult in a church setting; hard in a small group setting, and something you have to work at in a marriage.

It’s not hard to see why Intimacy is a constant tension. Intimacy is something that we, as a broken people, desire. Attempts to replace or bolster intimacy rule our everyday lives. So when we see something that is a clear example of intimacy, we want it. So we jump in, and lose some of the intimacy in the process.

How do we respond? I would suggest there are two ways:

1. Make Intimacy a moving target. This seems to the current way of life in America – everyone jumps in on something new, and then it’s not the same, so everyone abandons it in favor of the next “new.” Think about social networks – what is Facebook if not an attempt at knowing the people around us and being known? But now, it’s too big and too corporate. You don’t dare put real personal information on Facebook – anyone anywhere can read it. And so Facebook undergoes a backlash, and new social networking springs up. Twitter, Foursquare, Chatroulette all attempt to take some of that “intimacy space.”

The mental image I have is of frogs and lily pads. One frog jumps to a new lily pad, and it supports his weight just fine. But all the rest of the frogs join him shortly thereafter; and the lily pad sinks underneath the weight. We are the frogs, searching for a lily pad to support us. And as soon as this lily pad can no longer support us, we swim to the next one. (I have no idea if frogs actually do that).

So in this scenario, we’ll never truly be satisfied. It’s a constant search and struggle, and whenever we think we “find it” we have to start looking again. But it’s safe.

2. We could risk. Risk being intimate with the people we don’t know. Risk that it’s okay to share. Know that sometimes, someone is going to punch us in the face for being there. Someone is going to take advantage of us. It’s not going to feel worth it. We’re going to get more beat up than Michael Emerson did on Lost (pop culture reference quota: filled).

But at the same time, the reward is so much more significant. Because we can invite people into intimacy and change lives. That’s why marriages are considered life changing events by HR departments – because it’s a degree of intimacy unmatched by anything else in your life. I literally cannot imagine going back to being single anymore, and neither can any of my married friends (that I’ve talked to). A marriage is, by definition, intimate.

So now imagine if we could be intimate on some of those other levels. I’ve seen lives changed by a dose of intimacy in small group settings. What if we could be intimate in church settings? In work settings? In huge group settings?

This can only happen if we initiate and start letting ourselves be known. Only by taking the first step can we invite other into that process.

Postscript:

I think the biggest factor, of course, in any of this, is God. None of us want to end up bruised and bloodied on the altar of intimacy. But the sad truth is that if we try, the world will take advantage of us. Revealing yourself is dangerous – emotionally and physically. I don’t want to advocate anyone do anything unsafe; I think we should act responsibly. I read just the other day about a family that was robbed blind because they revealed their address in a for sale ad on Craigslist. There are bad people in the world who will take advantage of you.

And it’s only by the grace of God that this is a worthwhile endeavor. It’s not that God will protect you from being hurt; it’s just that God can give your pain meaning and purpose. I’ll write more on this later.

NFL: Week 3 Picks

Rough week last week. And this week promises to be rough as well; still don't really know where any of these teams rate. Let's just jump in.

49ers at Chiefs: Have never bought into the San Francisco hype. However... I don't buy into the Chiefs hype either. Gotta stick with the home team though.

Lions at Vikings: This is the story of Lions fan. Every single game we play, I convince myself that we could win. Right now, I'm wondering if Favre is finally washed up. I'm wondering if the last two close games haven't been flukes. I'm wondering if Kyle Vandenbosch will continue to lead in tackles. I'm wondering if Suh will get into Favre's head. I'm wondering if Jahvid Best will make mincemeat of the Minnesota defense. And so, once again, I have talked myself into taking Detroit. Do I even have to say this is my upset of the week?

Bills at Patriots: Patriots by a mile - perhaps literally? Could the Patriots score a mile's worth of yards against the Bills ? Probably not, but I'll still take the Patriots.

Falcons at Saints: The Saints are the Colts of the NFC, except they have a soul. I wouldn't advise picking against them, so I'll take New Orleans (home turf!).

Titans at Giants: Two teams that looked real good week 1 playing crappy teams and real bad week 2 playing good teams. We did just watch Indianapolis (!) run all over NY, so I'm guessing Chris Johnson will break 200 yards, and thus will take the Titans.

Steelers at Buccaneers: Sorry Bucs. Time for those hopes to start circling the drain.

Bengals at Panthers: Panthers are really just awful, huh? I'll take the Bengals; we should see some fireworks from Ochocinco and Owens this week. X-Factor: Is Jimmy Clausen the next coming... or is he a rookie quarterback playing on an awful team?

Browns at Ravens: Flacco rebound! He better, or I might renounce Fantasy Football forever. On the other hand, if the Browns lose, they pretty much sink my dark horse pick. Which, at this point, I'm okay with abandoning. Ravens for the easy win.

Cowboys at Texans: Texans are bound to lose, right? Two emotional games in a row, while the cowboys are desperate? I'll take Dallas in my lock of the week.

Redskins at Rams: Rams are bound to win one eventually, right?And Washington is bound to have a sluggish game after their heartbreaking loss to Houston. My heart wants to give it to St Louis... But my head isn't dumb. I'll pick Washington.

Eagles at Jaguars: Are the Eagles a bad team masquerading as a good team? Are the Jaguars a good team masquerading as a bad team? Could Michael Vick do anything more to provoke Dave Morgan? How many hypothetical questions can I ask before making a pick? Can I just refuse to make a pick? Fine, I'll take the Jaguars. Anything that stirs the pot in Philly. (Also, Bird Bowl Pick!)

Colts at Broncos: Easy money on the Colts. Denver isn't a good team, but they can sometimes beat mediocre teams. Not the Colts. (Bird Bowl Note: Bird Bowl Picking marks this as a tie: Colts and Broncos are both horses, and I don't really care enough to look up the difference between the two.)

Raiders at Cardinals: Two crappy teams, right? Can you back a crappy team on the road? Probably not. Take the Cardinals.

Chargers at Seahawks: Don't believe in the Seahawks. Chargers should win.

Jets at Dolphins: Ugh. Jets without Revis, huh? He didn't make much of an impact against the Patriots. But... Edwards being a moron hurts too. Gotta take the Dolphins; they're less distracted.

Packers at Bears: Packers... Duh!