I have three funny stories that don't come from India. I'm going to tell them on the blog over the next couple of days, and I'd like you to tell me:
- What elements interested you?
- What elements bored you?
- What meaning do you see behind the story?
- Can you draw any lessons / parallels from the story?
- Any advice on telling the story?
The first of the three stories is "Chopper."
I lived in Charleston, South Carolina, for about two years, in a house with three other guys. We were all bachelors, which was something about ourselves that we wished to change. Over the course of two years, we hatched many plots to change our bachelorness. We tried creating groups and inviting women - swing dancing, prayer, 80's movies. We hosted bonfires every weekend. We pretended to like "The Notebook." And when none of that worked, we decided to break out the big guns - we were going to get a dog.
Having always been partial to Golden Retrievers, I lobbied for one. It was only then that we realized that dogs are not cheap. A golden retriever could easily run several hundred dollars on the low end! Even getting a dog from the shelter requires about two hundred dollars to pay for vaccinations and spay/neuter. We were desperate yes, but we were also cheap.
And then Steve, my roommate, solved our problems. His coworker was getting married and wanted to get rid of his dog - and he was giving it to us for free! This probably should have been our first clue.
I went with Steve to pick up the dog. I was convinced it was just some sort of mutt, with the lineage of forty different breeds or whatever. I did not expect to show up and find a 120pound pit bull named Chopper.
Okay, so this dog is huge and looks scary. Chopper didn't act scary though. He was nice - he definitely cried when leaving his old owner, and made pathetic mewling sounds.
Once we got Chopper home however, he dropped the act.
I generally like dogs. In fact, I don't think I've ever been scared of a dog before I met Chopper. Playing with Chopper was not recommended. I always enjoyed playing tug of war with a dog, wrestling them for control over a rope or a bone or whatever.
If you made a move torwards Chopper's current toy of choice (bone, shoe, stuffed animal, foodstuffs he had broken into), he would growl. No, scratch that. The frigging T-Rex he kept in his throat would growl. It sounded out of this world terrifying.
We didn't want to leave him in the house when we went to work, because of his propensity to eat the things we cared about. So the first day we left him in the garage, figuring that there wasn't really anything in there he could eat or kill.
I came home from work that day and found Chopper sitting idly on the living room couch. This concerned me, because our couch is not located in our Garage. I went to the garage to see how Chopper could have escaped - perhaps he broke a window or something.
No. Chopper chewed through the inner garage door into the house. Chewed through the door.
Steve and I replaced the door, and vowed to get rid of Chopper before he killed us. We couldn't do anything that night, so the next morning we tied Chopper to a post outside and went to work. Steve tried to contact his coworker to see if he would take Chopper back; this was to no avail. I contacted a few shelters, but none would take an unspayed pit bull. And spaying him brought us back to the fact that we were cheap. Putting him down was also annoyingly expensive.
I returned home that night without any success, only to find Chopper once again on our couch. Being as our couch is also not in our backyard, I was immediately filled with a sense of dread.
Apparently, while we were gone, Chopper broke part of the porch we had attached him to and then chewed through our back door into the house. That's right - Chopper 2, Doors 0.
The next morning, Steve loaded Chopper into his car. I was never really clear what happened to Chopper - Steve said he released him into the wild to destroy trees and eat more wood. I don't think Steve was lying, but I know I lay awake for two weeks, concerned that Chopper was going to go all "Homeward Bound" and chew through our front door in the middle of the night.
3 comments:
I will now attempt to spend some time drawing thoughts and rambling about this story.
I guess what I want to talk about first is the idea of taking something unto ourselves that we don’t need. I think sometimes we take things upon ourselves, tell ourselves that we’re a certain person, or that we act a certain way. And then we feel the need to maintain that illusion.
For example, when I was in college, I took a DISC personality profile test. DISC puts you in one (or part of) four quadrants to chart your personality. It’s helpful to think of DISC in terms of Seinfeld characters – the D(ominant) category would be Elaine, the I(nfluential) category would be Kramer, the S(teadiness) category would be George, and the C(onscientious) category would be Jerry.
When I took the test, I was feeling particularly goofy and ended up with a 50 I, 40S, 10D split. That put me primarily in Kramer’s category. I spent the next two years trying to be more and more creative and intuitive and off-the-wall.
I think this was because I was afraid to get rid of something that had been named to me, in the same way we were afraid of getting rid of Chopper. I wanted to hold onto that, because if I chose to be Kramer, at least it was my choice, and there were no unexpected consequences (or benefits).
Anyways, these are some of my thoughts, off the cuff. What do you think?
I think the story of the dog is quite controversial and will probably make some people mad.
I remember when I had to give up my puppy, it was sad. I did end up, after 3 unsuccessful tries, being able to find a good home for her, but it took time.
I honestly don't think I could have just driven her out into the middle of nowhere and left her. I know I couldnt have.
Eventhough she was destructive, and loud, and often annoying and hard to control, I couldn't abandon her. This mainly was because I knew she depended on me. I was her livelihood, her parent in a sense.
I think our problem comes often when we run from difficult situations. Or, when we run from confusing situations. For instance, what is my true personality and true calling?
If a DISC test tells me something, then that is easy, and i have it figured out. But if it shows me a piece and it is my job to figure out the rest then it is a mystery to discover.
How very exciting.
I don't quite feel the same excitement about abandoning a problem or question out in the wilderness, never to be seen or heard from again except in nightmares. (i.e...waking up and finding Chopper has chewed through your front door)
Yeah ... the story is a 10 as far as humor, but probably not as far as the point you're trying to make. It starts with girls, then dogs, then ... fear? guilt? responsibility? I'm not really sure what the end point was, or how the crazy dog ties into the DISC test.
If you want to focus on being or needing something we don't actually need, you could add something to the story about how you had girls over to impress them with your dog, but the girls hated the dog because it ate their purses or something, and thus the girls hated you, and then you realized that you didn't actually need the dog ... etc
Maybe then try to use a more real-life example that people can connect easily too, like people think they need money, a better car, etc to make them happy. But it doesn't work. Because you're not your F-ing khakis, you are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. huh? what? sorry.
And how does that tie into the idea of this being a devotional? Are you going to conclude with something about how Jesus told us 'Do not worry about tomorrow' and how that's still a real applicable idea nowadays .. even with dumb things like dogs, because little things like that creep into our mentality and shape the people we are without us even realizing it, or somethig like that but not dumb and cheesey like i just sounded.
I think if you use this story it'll definitely be funny, but it'll be hard to jump from the funny to the for-realz, and the last thing you want is the sudden "okay now i'm serious" pastor move which people generally tend to hate. you know what i'm referring to? the pastor makes 5 jokes in a row and while the crowd is laughing he suddenly gets the most serious look on his face and says something about god's wrath, and everyone just feels uncomfortable and like they've been betrayed. yeah, don't do that. not that you would.
just make sure to transition from funny story to applicable story in a genuine way ... and a believable way ... not sure how to do that. but that's my advice.
Post a Comment