NFL: Week 2 Picks

Figured I should start by pointing this out - I don't think there's a single week of the year harder to make picks than week 2. Every team is either unbeaten or winless. And how much can you learn from one week? How many games last week were aberrations and how many were actual proof of what's coming this season?

For example, what do you do with Houston at Washington? Is one of these teams "for real?" Who was faking it last week?

Anyway, onto the picks.

Ravens at Bengals: Ravens are better than their game score last week suggested, and I think the Bengals may be shockingly worse. Take the Ravens.

Cowboys at Bears: As much as I like watching Dallas lose, I have a feeling that the Bears won't put up much of a fight. Dallas.

Cardinals at Falcons: A bird bowl! Was there one last week? (After checking, no!). I'm tempted to start instituting a "if two animals meet, pick the fiercer one." Last week, I would have had 2 wins (dolphins drown buffalo and jaguars eat horses), one loss (would have picked Rams over Cardinals), and one push - lions and bears (who knows who wins that fight?). So in that spirit, I'll take the Falcons this week.

Bills at Packers: About the best thing the Bills can hope to do this week is to run Lynch a lot and drive up his trade value to the Packers. Pack rolls.

Eagles at Lions: Dangit, another animal bowl. By the rules I already postulated, I should pick the Lions. I'm reserving my Upset of the Week for a different game... So, sadly, I'll take the Eagles. X-Factor: How demoralized will Detroit be after week 1? Can you dream of a scenario where week 1 was any worse for Detroit, barring Suh spontaneously combusting and taking Calvin Johnson with him? (Of course, maybe they use that to their advantage? Wait, these aren't the Patriots. They're the Lions...)

Steelers at Titans: Homefield advantage. Titans, and CJ racks up 150 yards.

Chiefs at Browns: Is Cleveland really that bad? I'm starting to think that God really does hate them. Oh well... But I can't drop my playoff dark horse just yet. Low scoring game and Cleveland wins.

Bucs at Panthers: Bucs on the road? Panthers - and boy am I glad to have Deangelo Williams this week. I'll take the Panthers as my Lock of the Week - when else can I type that this year?

Dolphins at Vikings: Favre didn't look good last week. But neither did Miami. When in doubt, take the home team. I'm sure Favre worked with his receivers this week, and they will probably be more in sync.

Seahawks at Broncos: I hate this game all around. Because I don't think the Seahawks are for real, but I don't want to pick Denver. If Carroll starts off 2-0 though, I might have to gag myself here in Seattle. I'll pick Denver. (I'm also toying with the thought of playing Orton this week over Flacco...)

Rams at Raiders: I can't take St Louis on the road... not even at Oakland.

Patriots at Jets: Okay, so maybe Dallas is my second favorite team to watch lose. First is the Jets, who are about to get pounded by a strikingly 2007 Tom Brady into an 0-2 hole.

Texans at Redskins: Eh, I haven't picked a road team to win yet (Philly doesn't count). Texans are as good as any.

Jaguars at Chargers: Another one of those games that I have no clue going into. I think I'll take San Diego - they're offense should be more potent than last week, and that doesn't bode well for the Jags.

Giants at Colts: I'm gonna take a stand and play this as my Upset of the Week. The Giants are underrated. And eventually, the Colts aren't going to be on top anymore. Is this the year? Maybe. I'll take the Giants.

Saints at 49ers: Too bad 49ers. I already played my Upset of the Week. You're relegated to 0-2, because Drew Brees. I don't even need to make that a complete sentence. Just Drew Brees.